Grandma

I went to see my Grandma yesterday, I don't get down to see her much so try to pop in when I'm down that way. I took her out to get some milk before I went out for lunch and couldn't get a park so convinced her to come out to lunch with my friends. She was pretty reluctant but I'm persuasive :P
Anyway, as usual at our lunches/ get togethers it turned political and birthing also as usual the main topic. Grandma was just sitting listening as she does and I brought up that she had an awful experience with my Dad's birth and she agreed saying she had been alone, disrespected and couldn't walk afterwards with the stitches although didn't elaborate saying 'oh well it was all ok a couple of weeks later'. Rose pointed out that she still remembered it though and she teared up saying she doesn't remember much any more and has always had an awful memory (which is *very* true!) but she still remembers that vividly :( How awful that 50 years later she remembers the birth of her first child sadly??? (I could under stand if it was the child himself that depressed her :P ).
It reminded me of a birth course I did where the lecturer was saying that women with dementia in nursing homes can't remember the names of their children but they remember their births. How powerful is that?? And our society glosses over it all. 'oh well you have a healthy baby' I may well scream if I hear that again (and I personally have had no reason to hear that). Is that all we want out of a life changing experience? A healthy outcome? Of course that is the number one priority of it but surely we can ask for more than that. Like after the little guys birth, I was totally empowered, my body birthed him entirely. No one touched me, invaded my space. Everyone was there only to support *me*. No one was in a hurry to get somewhere else or there with their own agendas; no policies, decisions were made by what was happening at the time with my body and baby and even then *I* made them! To get that I had to birth in my own home (which was fine with me!) and it cost me $2000 (and medicare nothing!). Surely every woman is entitled to have that wherever they want to birth their babies? How tragic is it that generations of women are remembering their births with sadness??
Anyway, driving home with Grandma I asked her if she enjoyed lunch. She said she had and also enjoyed the great company and conversation. I said 'hope it wasn't too full on with too much profanity' she just laughed and said 'well they are passionate' hahaha!!!

The reason for our lunch was the due date of my friend Tammy. Her little one was due yesterday but is taking her sweet time. Who'd have thought number 4 would be the longest pregnancy??? Most unfair. Sending love and strength and loads of empathy your way Tammy :)